» If my thoughts can be contained here..
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I love programming, but its not what my entire life is composed of. I love nature and animals more than socializing. Lawl. I enjoy spending time with my family and my cat. I'm a private person and I love sharing only the most important life stories with my closest friends. I'm a very organized person as well and I hate clutter. I love GTD and I count my blessings everday. :)

I have had many blogs before, but I decided to compile all of my works in one place. Hence, the birth of Coderkitty. My day to day blogging is compiled under Livinglife. Its where I pour most of my thoughts into.

I also work fulltime as a technical person, currently the Technical Development Manager of the IT team of Devex. I enjoy helping out friends with their minor coding challenges, and I love to tinker with this site when I'm free. Otherwise, I'm usually found whetting my appetite with different cutting edge technologies, or doing some freelance work. I don't like coffee, though I love having tea while working.

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If my thoughts can be contained here..

If my thoughts can be contained here, I would say everything. I would share everything. I would spill my emotions.

What can I say? What can I do? I feel like I want to escape. Live alone and let the world be.

I don’t want to be depressed. I want to be alive, I want to be me. I want to be free. The world has put blocks on me. On me, and in me. I can’t find that I am really at peace with myself and the rest of the world.

No, this is not a suicide note.

I love my life. I’m actually wanting to live more inside it. I actually want to go back to a point in my life when I felt free, when I felt strong, safe and secure. I know I am. I am safe, I am strong, I am untouched and protected.

I want to do more, without dragging a lot of people inside the story of my life. I want to make people live in peace. I want the world to be better. I want to pick them all up and put them all in a wonderful pedestal of glory, honor and light. I want to do wonderful things for people and make them all understand that life is not the life that they have inside their head.

There is nothing wrong with the way we all live, except that we are living it for the wrong meaning. We are all living the world in a mistake. We are desperately trying to find the meaning of life outside of ourselves, which are totally just inside all of us.

Why has the world come to this point? I remember when things were a lot more simple than the politicians cackling about their wants and needs and their false desires for the people. I wonder up to what point we’ll all value money over love for family and friends. I wonder how else our beliefs can take us all to a point where it cannot even hurt anyone, and thereby making everybody else in our circle feel accepted and loved unconditionally.

I’m tired about people trying to tell me how to feel. I’m tired of people telling me they know me. I’m tired of people telling me what I need to do, or where I need to go.

I’m too good for you, right?

I don’t need to be told. I know exactly what needs to be done, unless i ask you to tell me what to do. Get my point?

Not because I am good, I will allow people to take me for granted or to manipulate me. I draw the line, not you. I know who I am, where I want to go, what I need and when I need it. Do not mistake me for anybody else in your life who wants to be abused or taken for granted.

I know how to love, and I expect nothing less from everyone. I can teach you love if you don’t know what it is. I can show you how love and care is without asking the same equal amount from you. I want you to understand that I am a wonderful soul.

Don’t drive me. People, if you think I am letting myself become abused, you are wrong. I am only human at times.. and I allow myself to fall because I need to learn something.. or maybe I become too comfortable with my life. I want change.. but my love for you and God will never change.

I have never blamed anyone for my mishaps. I only want peace. Peace for myself, peace for my loved ones, peace for mankind.

To those who wish ill of me, I tell you, you have no right to judge me. Your words are nothing from the affirmations I can give myself. You cannot hurt me anymore. I am leaving behind my emotions.

I know my thoughts cannot be contained here.. I only wished it to be.

Chris
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