I wanted to talk about Love. Only because its almost Valentine’s day.
I want to begin with good vibes and say good things about Love, but I just can’t. So, I won’t.
Love is overrated. I think many people put it to the pedestal when talking about happiness, success and even hope. Its connected to many things. Just like its connected to the negative energies like sadness, hurt, pain, guilt, and fear.
In actuality, I would be more comfortable to call it a fact of life. Love is one fact of life. It exists because its based on emotions. And man was given emotions. The heart, as its more often connected to emotions, is automatically connected to Love. But, its not the sole source of Love.. not even the sole source of emotion! The entire physical body can rouse sensation which in turn pulls on emotions.
When you get into a relationship, you need to equip yourself with these golden learnings:
1. You will not find happiness in your partner. You need to learn how to be happy on your own. How?
- Get a good exercise routine. Exercise brings out endorphins which makes you happy.
- Give yourself some goals, like finish a book every month; slim down; stay healthy, etc.
- Reward yourself for every accomplishment. You can go shopping, dining out, movie watching, etc.
- Give back. Run for a cause, help out, etc.
2. You have to be absolutely sure on what reasons you do some things.
- If you love to clean the house, then do that consistently even if there are new messes everyday. Again, you love to clean the house, so JUST clean it.. happily.
- If you love to cook, then cook the foods that make you feel good. Not because others want it. If they also do, then its a bonus for you!
3. You have to incorporate honesty, and communication. Never mind about Love. That’s easy to pull in. The others are basis of a good relationship.
4. You need to have your own privacy and respect your partner’s privacy as well. Yes, honesty is needed, but don’t divulge everything. But answer truthfully when asked. You’ll only feel that they were unfair to you if you went all out honest and truthful and they do the opposite to you.
5. The right attitude is needed towards your partner. Whatever happens, you both should learn to settle and resolve all conflicts. I mean ALL.
- There would be times that a simple hug or kiss would do, but the real issue should always be closed not swept under the rag. When it piles up, that will be explosive. It would always be best to deal with small issues when it happens as it happens.
- Trust their words. When they say they will change, just trust it and don’t question. If they break that trust, walk out of the door and don’t come back. But while they aren’t breaking it, just be cautious and keep trusting. (God knows Karma will get to them sometime soon.. and who knows you’ll get to watch it too!)
6. Always save respect for yourself.
- If you don’t feel like doing something just for their sake, then don’t. Most likely, you will use that as an excuse for you to be treated better if you force yourself.
- Do want makes you happy when you want it. You do not need permission from your partner. If that’s healthy for your partner, then that wouldn’t hurt you anyway.
- Let your partner reinvent themselves. You don’t need to follow them on twitter, or be on every network he/she is in. Lesson learned: don’t be their number one fan. But do watch out for their fans.
- Don’t pay for something you did not use. If you share a place, then expenses should be shared too. There is no reason for one to shoulder everything. In the long run, that’s going to be frustrating.
7. Reset to meet and greet. Now this is the hard part. Everyday is a new day. Every after hurts should be a clean slate. Challenge yourself to forget the past and fall in love again.
Generally, I think its better to fall in love with a pet. They are good friends and they will never betray you. Best of all, they grow to your routine. You will both understand each other no matter what as time goes by. Now, that doesn’t hold true for people, sad to say.
My love in a bottle looks pretty from the outside. The bottle makes it look shiny and glowing. The rest of the inside, is shaped by my own actions and mindset.
So, Valentine’s day? Naahh, I’ll pass.