Never on Sunday, the Manaoag edition

“Oh kiss me quick, while we still have this feeling..”

“Love me tender, Love me sweet, Never let me go..”

Oh, how sweet to hear these music again. Even my creator rested on the Sabbath, the seventh day of creation. So here I am sitting on the 25th seat of a Victory Liner Bus, with a bag of raisins on my left and a a pen and notebook on my right. I know I’ve been sick, I know I have many things to do for work, which I’m always willing to do now before tomorrow (for “tomorrow” is a word I use for finding time to rest). But today is special, as the mission is special.

We visit the miraculous church of Manaoag every now and then, but today, we scheduled this date to hear Mass in Pangasinan, our home province, a bare 4-hour travel from Manila. Its a wonderful break for me, and a special request for and by the family. We’ve come to ask for healing. My youngest sister has just been diagnosed with a lung problem; my mom and I are also on treatment for some minor health troubles.

As I’m writing this, I’m feeling quite drained of my own energy. I feel my hands are growing colder and there is pain in my weakest spot. I have to stop from time to time to meditate and re-energize, for without it, I wouldn’t be able to further with my writing. I won’t let this stop me though from saying how good this day is and how happy I’ve felt inside just visiting the church once again. more…

The Space Between

Ambient music takes me to a point of silence and peace inside my head.  Sometimes its so noisy and filled with so many thoughts that I can’t hear what “I” truly want to say.  Then there are emotions that you’d want to drown out in this peace, but sometimes can’t because they are rhythmically and painfully louder than your thoughts.

I always knew countless music/melody that were my favorites were mostly melancholic.  Nonetheless, I loved listening to them.  Zero 7 has that kind of sound that thugs on the sad strings of my personality.  The lyrics are sometimes obscure and that the real meaning for the song becomes dependent on the listener.  Like this one..  Right now, this is how I feel. more…

Kuya is not GOD

Everyday, I would come home and see my mom sleeping at around 8:30-9:30pm.  Sometimes she’d mumble and ask me to be quiet when I arrive.  I’m usually the boisterous one at home.  I make the house noisy.  Even the house password was my own ingenius invention.  Its a combination of a shrill high pitched calling–something very unique to us all.  You’d really be able to tell apart an impostor (if ever there is one). :P

Sometimes I find it funny and I would tease her until she’ll give up and talk to me.  We’d chat on the table.  This is usually where we converge every morning or every night and just talk about anything we want to say or share with each other.  Later on, when I leave the table, she’d tell me she hate me for talking her out of her sleep for nothing.  I know you’re wondering why..

She’d sneak up the sala couch and try to get some nap.  I’ll tell my busy sisters.. “what’s wrong with mama?”  They’ll either just look at me, like I’m some stranger asking an unknown question.. or sometimes when I’m lucky, I’ll get a smile and nothing more.  I do my chores and prepare my room for sleep.  At nights when I stay up a little later, I find the real reason why.

She’ll suddenly spring from the couch and turn on the TV.  I bought her a 32 inch LCD TV last Christmas since I know how much she loves to watch (and the rest of us loves to watch DVDs every weekend). Not minding her with her daily TV routine, I go about my writing / coding / reading or whatever it is that I do that night.  When I’m not wearing my headset to drown the sounds of the perya / bingo place across the creek, I hear my mother laughing loudly at a time that’s nearing midnight.  Sometimes this seems normal, and at times I would wonder what she’s watching and so one night I stood up and asked her what she’s laughing about like its the best comedy film of the year. more…

I’m sooo not joining that Legion

It was late November of last year (2009) when I first saw the trailer for this movie.  It was to be released by January 2010.  Excited and patiently I waited to see this movie.  2010 arrives and I thought many would fall in line to see this, and for sure, I have to be one of them.

Yesterday, I was so excited to see the movie.  I thought it was going to be big just like Avatar was and 2012.  Those movies definitely swept everyone’s expectations and filled us all with awe and unchartered appreciation for all the effort put into creating them and putting them out for public’s consumption.  Let me tell you, I did not think that my night would end the way it did after seeing Legion.

Legion is defined an archaic word used for “army”, or a large military unit.  The posters display of a beautiful yet ironic image of an angel–well, at least ironic from the common depiction of “angel” in our religious and social knowledge.  I think this was what made it more dramatic.

Legion

Legion

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Which is the real reality?

Avatar

Avatar

In 2154, man was depicted to be suffering from energy crisis on Earth. With man’s extreme need for survival, we turn to a different world that could possibly save us. But salvation in a different manner.

The Avatar research was successful in locating Pandora, a moon of the planet of Polyphemus, some 4.3 light years from Earth. Pandora held massive amounts of lush greens and a very important discovery of the mineral called Unobtanium which, for man was the solution to the energy crisis. Finding the rock was the key, but getting it was not the solution. The Na’vis were the natives of Pandora and they were the link to a missing future.

Jake Sully, had a brother Tom who was a scientist who held a PhD in the Avatar research. Each man had to be linked to a specific hybrid of human and Na’vi genome. Each avatar is very expensive and can only be linked to a specific nervous system. When Tom died, Jake was the next best bet for a possible link to Tom’s avatar. He took on the task, hoping that he could get a fresh start with a new life as soon as the mission was completed. He looked forward to a life with legs, being a paraplegic ex-marine.

His mission was to learn the ways of the Na’vi and hopefully to convince them to relocate in time for the taking over of their troops to extract all possible amounts of the Unobtanium. He was supposed to succeed where the scientists failed. Given that he was the first warrior ever to use an Avatar, the natives gave him favor of learning their ways, aside from the fact that he seemed to be favored by their spirit god Eywa.

He learns their ways and fell in love with the nature and Neytiri. Soon, Jake found himself going against the inhumane ways of acquiring Unobtanium through destruction of the nature of Pandora. As he became one of the Omaticaya (people of Pandora), he vows to help the natives and defend their land. War breaks out and he unites the different clans to save their nature.

Pandora

Pandora

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My Xmas confessions

Christmas is not very much my favorite season.  Its the coldest though even without rains, that’s one main reason why I like it.  They say its the season made for kids and those young at heart.  I say its not made for me.

My birthday falls within this holiday season, yet I never felt like merry making.  I don’t really like people greeting me on my birthday, but I appreciate them nonetheless.  I guess its just a preference.  I don’t want to speculate for the reasons why I am this way but for the sake of argument and thought sharing, I’d love to spill some things out. more…

Can collective consciousness make a big difference?

2012 for me is..

As the trailer of 2012 pops into the big screen sometime last year, I wonder what the movie effects would bring me cheap thrill.  I wonder what portrayals for the “end of days” would be shown.  I was excited and eager to see it.  But did I really believe it?

Answer is YES and NO.  I believe that there will be changes.  Note: “changes”.  There would be things that would take place, but not wipe out man.

2012 is just around the corner.  Ever since I was young, there have been lots of prophecies about the “end of the world”.  I remember my family always eager to watch Nostradamus’ predictions.  I was the eldest, but I tell you I don’t remember any of it.  Maybe its by poor memory, or is it because my guides were protecting me from believing something wrong?

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I finally understand pain

I literally walked up to pain’s front door.  Knocked at it and waited till it welcomed me inside. I had a nice chat with it and then I went out.  Promised to come back again when I forget.

I know I must be stupid.  But I am only human.  To be able to understand what it is to be more than human, you must first become human.  You need to understand what pain is all about.  Just like death is not the end, so is pain.  Its only a beginning. more…

HE must be..

I think I’m a very mysterious person.  Hard to understand most of the time.  Secretive with the crazy thoughts, but usually an open book in terms of the history of my life.  But who am I and who do I really want to find?

I want to find “him”.  I want to find the one who can, will and want to hold my heart forever despite my shallow whims, my dogmatic beliefs, my crazy paranormal side, my analytical/scientific/logical work, and my unnecessary passion for creative activities.  Too much to handle?  I guess not.

My love is unconditional.  I will not love, try to love or push myself to love somebody for the wrong terms and the wrong parameters of life and my belief.

Nothing good is hurtful.

Simple rule to abide by.  I get hurt, its okay.  I get repeatedly hurt, its not okay.  Honesty, communication, individuality and love comprise the perfect recipe.  I believe no relationship survives without these ingredients, and so I try to live by it.

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Prayer for enlightenment

I am Thine, O Lord, I have heard Thy voice,
And it told Thy love to me;
But I long to rise in the arms of faith
And be closer drawn to Thee.

Consecrate me now to Thy service, Lord,
By the power of grace divine;
Let my soul look up with a steadfast hope,
And my will be lost in Thine.

O the pure delight of a single hour
That before Thy throne I spend,
When I kneel in prayer, and with Thee, my God
I commune as friend with friend!

There are depths of love that I cannot know
Till I cross the narrow sea;
There are heights of joy that I may not reach
Till I rest in peace with Thee.

~ F.J. Crosby