A trip down memory lane

28th Jul 2010 by Chris

Sa totoo lang, wala kang dapat ipagmayabang dahil wala ka pa sa kalingkingan ng pagiging ina ng nanay ko sa amin!

That’s me, imagining the worst line I wanna deliver to the biggest b*tch of them all.. and I’m daydreaming.

I’ve been too tired, and it felt like I’m punishing myself at work.  I needed to attend to some personal matters that really matter.  Today, I thought of throwing stuff away.  Yeah, I like to throw stuff away.  Its a new habit that I have suddenly formed out of the Ondoy experience.  The whole tragic experience brought me to an understanding how life can be short and that there are far too many things that should be experienced.

I lost a lot of things that were very important to me that time.  I’m quite a sentimental person, but in the end, when Ondoy washed them away, I learned something important.  VERY IMPORTANT.  Its that life isn’t about the material things that you think matter to you, but the memories that you have for each event, each page of your life.

Some of the most painful things I had to throw away were books.  Imagine how loudly I screamed when I saw my whole cart of books swimming inside the house!  And it even included my precious yearbook (wherein, I dearly hate the editor for editing my eight-worded self description–as if she ever understood about individuality! Gaaahh, I’m so not talking about it here and now.. hmph!!!).  It had a whole collection of best seller books I haven’t even touched in years, yet I kept promising myself I ever will complete reading them all.   more…

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Tell me its still worth it

8th Jul 2010 by Chris
Things I’ve been missing out on because of work:
  1. sleep, no need for explanation.
  2. rest. yes, sleep and rest are two different things. working for straight 3 weeks is more than enough. rest is needed to bring back your life and interest in work and vice versa
  3. church. i USED to pass by the church everyday to give thanks and pray. can’t even attend mass because of again, work on a sunday
  4. friends. i USED to unwind by going out with friends, my highschool batchmates and newly met friends. they provide me with laughs to ease out my work-induced migraine and stress
  5. family time. i plan out a monthly gimmick for the family to provide them with a stress-free bonding day and to learn and experience something new everyday. guess what, now i can’t even promise my weekend to be with them. no more quick out of town trips!
  6. cat playtime. i USED to go home early and play with my cat, then have a good, undisturbed night sleep together–my cat sleeping beside my pillow.
  7. good dreams. i value my dreams, and the quality of my sleep. now, i have work dreams. :( and some are dreams of expressing desire to be happy and taken cared of

  8. quiet time to commemorate important life events

    - my grandfather died, and instead of mourning, i had to work! even on the day of my grandpa’s cremation! the very next day, was the birthday of my late fiance, and i had to work! i wasn’t even able to visit his crypt

  9. new coding knowledge and practice of it – now that i’m senior, and lead tech, who gets to mentor me? what’s new and exciting for me?
  10. blogging – i USED to release negativity and exhaustion by blogging
  11. reading – i can’t even finish my RD! i USED to read 4 books in a month!
  12. yoga and other hobbies – i allot time for these and happily attend to them.  now, i don’t jog and i feel guilty that i had to attend to them because work requires me to be around
  13. shopping – i haven’t done my own retail therapy in a long time. and having done so just yesterday makes me feel different.
  14. health – since i have been very stressed from the passing away of my late fiance, and work, i have been spending so much for medicines and checkups
  15. HOME – i just want to leave work at the office and leave it there. i want my home to be sacred. is it too much to ask?

is work still reallly worth it, for me?

Category: Living Life  Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,  3 Comments

Goodbye shell, hello world

10th Jun 2010 by Chris

It took the death of a loved one for me to understand that I have been slacking with the terms of living my life.  All my life, my work, my efforts and energy were put mainly for the benefit of others.  Now, I have the rest of my days to live my life.

I’m taking baby steps to reach my goals and I’m happy to announce I’m slowly getting there.  I’ve increased my reading appetite and I’m now a more rounded being.  I do my work well and I see friends more often.  I’m into exercising by doing Yoga.  I plan to do more by joining volunteer work (on demand) and joining fun runs.

I’ve opened myself to a whole new perspective where life is enjoyable and not tied to a single person.  This is why living a single life is now more fun for me.

Last week, I came to see my highschool batchmates and it was a blast.  I was really happy that I took the time to be with them even for a short while.  I managed to share my happiness with them and get in touch with their lives again.  Goodbye shell, hello world.

SMS Batch '97 get together

SMS Batch '97 get together

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Go no farther

28th Apr 2010 by Chris
Go no farther

Go no farther

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To become a woman

26th Apr 2010 by Chris

To become a woman is hard
You work hard to earn your own so you can be independent and self-sufficient
You workout to keep a slender figure, and complete your confidence
You train yourself to be intelligent so you will never be left behind
You join workshops to stay sane and have fun
You remind yourself about groceries, birthdays, special occasions, etc
You don’t forget your bills no matter how busy you are
You pick the clothes you wear to make sure they highlight your physical appeal
You practice smiling because thats what attracts friends and goodness
You moderate your food intake to stay healthy
You pray heartily to thank God every morning and night
You make your partner happy and content and proud all the time
You do your chores diligently because you exercise cleanliness
You make time for your pet and your family because without them, you are less loved
You come to work and give it your best everyday because you gain experience and friends from it

With all these things, though challenging, its always fun to become a woman. I’m loving each day of my life. :)

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The Ugly things

13th Mar 2010 by Chris

These make me sick.  Just like any other human being on this earth, we all go through different sets of emotions at any given time.  From the highest to the lowest, deepest pit of emotion.  But all of these things make us human nonetheless and I do not hate them.  Still, with all of these said, we must deal with them too.

A week ago, I faced a similar rage I had to deal with.  It seems to me, somebody (or something) is pressing all the possible button-combination they can try to try and tick me off.  Yup, it blew my head away.  But I got back easily.

The uncontrollable factor

I used to dream that I would become a scientist, way back when I was still very young.  Lo, and behold, I would say I had become one!  I was always the person with the logical brain.. trying to explain things the way mother nature has it.  Even life’s circumstances was not unexplainable at some point.  Nothing can deter me from trying to work my way into what fits as “explainable” and “logical”.  There is always a reason for everything.. and when there is none, there is always God (to blame–LOL).

Friday night, I sent a message to a friend.  I got a reply that annoyed me.  Not only did it annoy me at that instant, but “it” continued to annoy me every three (3) minutes since I received it until possibly an hour and a half when I thought turning off my phone would be a solution.

Now, what has a scientist got to do with it? more…

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Smile

17th Feb 2010 by Chris

The song is inspiring. :) Heard it at 96.3 while I was working.

Artist: Uncle Kracker
Title: Smile

You’re better then the best
I’m lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that’s right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me,
Lets me know that it’s ok, yeah it’s ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Even when you’re gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Don’t know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

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The lessons we can’t deny

9th Feb 2010 by Chris

I’ve been through many ups and downs.  But I can say I’ve never been to so much pain and crying in my life as I have experienced in the last six months of my life.  I don’t ever want to go back and reminisce any of them anymore.  With all these things, its still undeniable that things happen for a reason.  If there is just one thing I could ever believe in, there are things in life that we do not choose for ourselves, but they do happen nonetheless, and somehow, even if you run away from them, they have a way of finding themselves back to you until you take it.   more…

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I’m sooo not joining that Legion

23rd Jan 2010 by Chris

It was late November of last year (2009) when I first saw the trailer for this movie.  It was to be released by January 2010.  Excited and patiently I waited to see this movie.  2010 arrives and I thought many would fall in line to see this, and for sure, I have to be one of them.

Yesterday, I was so excited to see the movie.  I thought it was going to be big just like Avatar was and 2012.  Those movies definitely swept everyone’s expectations and filled us all with awe and unchartered appreciation for all the effort put into creating them and putting them out for public’s consumption.  Let me tell you, I did not think that my night would end the way it did after seeing Legion.

Legion is defined an archaic word used for “army”, or a large military unit.  The posters display of a beautiful yet ironic image of an angel–well, at least ironic from the common depiction of “angel” in our religious and social knowledge.  I think this was what made it more dramatic.

Legion

Legion

more…

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Out Here on My Own

17th Jan 2010 by Chris

We have family and friends.  They are always around us.  People surround us.. but in the end, we are really just alone.  When you think about something, its just you speaking.  Its your own voice you hear and your own thoughts you see and ponder on.  There is nobody inside you but you alone.  In your life, there is only one timeline.. your own.

The thought of it makes one realize the essence of being alone, but not leading to “loneliness”.  Its not about being sad that we are alone.  I think its the confrontation of this fact that makes me realize that I can cross different timelines and be a part of other people’s lives.. but in the end its my own that will matter.  And so, I shouldn’t bother about making myself known to others.  Its more important for me to love and know myself.  Its a tough world we live in and everybody is just out on their own. more…

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