Change is imminent

I open my serious post with a very light and easy title.  But I cannot stress it more that its far more serious than this.

Let me begin by saying, look around you.  Have you not noticed any change in the surroundings, or were you too busy to realize anything that has been changing?  Philippines has always been a disaster prone country.  And honestly, I’m happy that we haven’t been stricken by the worst.  If you aren’t aware, let me enumerate some for you. more…

The Space Between

Ambient music takes me to a point of silence and peace inside my head.  Sometimes its so noisy and filled with so many thoughts that I can’t hear what “I” truly want to say.  Then there are emotions that you’d want to drown out in this peace, but sometimes can’t because they are rhythmically and painfully louder than your thoughts.

I always knew countless music/melody that were my favorites were mostly melancholic.  Nonetheless, I loved listening to them.  Zero 7 has that kind of sound that thugs on the sad strings of my personality.  The lyrics are sometimes obscure and that the real meaning for the song becomes dependent on the listener.  Like this one..  Right now, this is how I feel. more…

Kuya is not GOD

Everyday, I would come home and see my mom sleeping at around 8:30-9:30pm.  Sometimes she’d mumble and ask me to be quiet when I arrive.  I’m usually the boisterous one at home.  I make the house noisy.  Even the house password was my own ingenius invention.  Its a combination of a shrill high pitched calling–something very unique to us all.  You’d really be able to tell apart an impostor (if ever there is one). :P

Sometimes I find it funny and I would tease her until she’ll give up and talk to me.  We’d chat on the table.  This is usually where we converge every morning or every night and just talk about anything we want to say or share with each other.  Later on, when I leave the table, she’d tell me she hate me for talking her out of her sleep for nothing.  I know you’re wondering why..

She’d sneak up the sala couch and try to get some nap.  I’ll tell my busy sisters.. “what’s wrong with mama?”  They’ll either just look at me, like I’m some stranger asking an unknown question.. or sometimes when I’m lucky, I’ll get a smile and nothing more.  I do my chores and prepare my room for sleep.  At nights when I stay up a little later, I find the real reason why.

She’ll suddenly spring from the couch and turn on the TV.  I bought her a 32 inch LCD TV last Christmas since I know how much she loves to watch (and the rest of us loves to watch DVDs every weekend). Not minding her with her daily TV routine, I go about my writing / coding / reading or whatever it is that I do that night.  When I’m not wearing my headset to drown the sounds of the perya / bingo place across the creek, I hear my mother laughing loudly at a time that’s nearing midnight.  Sometimes this seems normal, and at times I would wonder what she’s watching and so one night I stood up and asked her what she’s laughing about like its the best comedy film of the year. more…

The Ugly things

These make me sick.  Just like any other human being on this earth, we all go through different sets of emotions at any given time.  From the highest to the lowest, deepest pit of emotion.  But all of these things make us human nonetheless and I do not hate them.  Still, with all of these said, we must deal with them too.

A week ago, I faced a similar rage I had to deal with.  It seems to me, somebody (or something) is pressing all the possible button-combination they can try to try and tick me off.  Yup, it blew my head away.  But I got back easily.

The uncontrollable factor

I used to dream that I would become a scientist, way back when I was still very young.  Lo, and behold, I would say I had become one!  I was always the person with the logical brain.. trying to explain things the way mother nature has it.  Even life’s circumstances was not unexplainable at some point.  Nothing can deter me from trying to work my way into what fits as “explainable” and “logical”.  There is always a reason for everything.. and when there is none, there is always God (to blame–LOL).

Friday night, I sent a message to a friend.  I got a reply that annoyed me.  Not only did it annoy me at that instant, but “it” continued to annoy me every three (3) minutes since I received it until possibly an hour and a half when I thought turning off my phone would be a solution.

Now, what has a scientist got to do with it? more…

The lessons we can’t deny

I’ve been through many ups and downs.  But I can say I’ve never been to so much pain and crying in my life as I have experienced in the last six months of my life.  I don’t ever want to go back and reminisce any of them anymore.  With all these things, its still undeniable that things happen for a reason.  If there is just one thing I could ever believe in, there are things in life that we do not choose for ourselves, but they do happen nonetheless, and somehow, even if you run away from them, they have a way of finding themselves back to you until you take it.   more…

Finding wonderland

I wake up in the middle of nowhere.  I feel the first gasp of air reach my lungs.  My eyes are wide open and I gather my senses.  My gaze reaches up the sky.  I see a portion of it.  The rest are covered with the grand pose of tall majestic old trees.  It could be around 10 in the morning.  The sun does not reach me at all, yet its not dark.  I feel the thick heavy heap of autumn-colored leaves cushioning my back.  I make an assessment of my current situation.  Am I hurt?  Am I even alive?

I struggle to sit myself.  I make a slow progress of it.  My body seems badly beaten.  I touch my face.  My body is covered in sweat.  Where have I been?  What have I done?  Am I even still myself?  Now that I’m seated, I bend my body to take a quick glance of my surrounding.  Its an awfully quiet place.  I’m in the middle of the forest.  Why?  How did I get here?

I look down and see myself wearing a slick pair of dark blue jeans.  I’m wearing a brown ladies’ leather jacket.  My hair is curly.  I look at my hands and they were white.  I wish I had a mirror.  I touch my face.  Its cold and sweaty.  Sweat was pouring from my head like I’ve been rained down.. and yet the whole place is dry.  In fact, it was even windy.  How ever did I get here? more…

Which is the real reality?

Avatar

Avatar

In 2154, man was depicted to be suffering from energy crisis on Earth. With man’s extreme need for survival, we turn to a different world that could possibly save us. But salvation in a different manner.

The Avatar research was successful in locating Pandora, a moon of the planet of Polyphemus, some 4.3 light years from Earth. Pandora held massive amounts of lush greens and a very important discovery of the mineral called Unobtanium which, for man was the solution to the energy crisis. Finding the rock was the key, but getting it was not the solution. The Na’vis were the natives of Pandora and they were the link to a missing future.

Jake Sully, had a brother Tom who was a scientist who held a PhD in the Avatar research. Each man had to be linked to a specific hybrid of human and Na’vi genome. Each avatar is very expensive and can only be linked to a specific nervous system. When Tom died, Jake was the next best bet for a possible link to Tom’s avatar. He took on the task, hoping that he could get a fresh start with a new life as soon as the mission was completed. He looked forward to a life with legs, being a paraplegic ex-marine.

His mission was to learn the ways of the Na’vi and hopefully to convince them to relocate in time for the taking over of their troops to extract all possible amounts of the Unobtanium. He was supposed to succeed where the scientists failed. Given that he was the first warrior ever to use an Avatar, the natives gave him favor of learning their ways, aside from the fact that he seemed to be favored by their spirit god Eywa.

He learns their ways and fell in love with the nature and Neytiri. Soon, Jake found himself going against the inhumane ways of acquiring Unobtanium through destruction of the nature of Pandora. As he became one of the Omaticaya (people of Pandora), he vows to help the natives and defend their land. War breaks out and he unites the different clans to save their nature.

Pandora

Pandora

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My Xmas confessions

Christmas is not very much my favorite season.  Its the coldest though even without rains, that’s one main reason why I like it.  They say its the season made for kids and those young at heart.  I say its not made for me.

My birthday falls within this holiday season, yet I never felt like merry making.  I don’t really like people greeting me on my birthday, but I appreciate them nonetheless.  I guess its just a preference.  I don’t want to speculate for the reasons why I am this way but for the sake of argument and thought sharing, I’d love to spill some things out. more…

Can collective consciousness make a big difference?

2012 for me is..

As the trailer of 2012 pops into the big screen sometime last year, I wonder what the movie effects would bring me cheap thrill.  I wonder what portrayals for the “end of days” would be shown.  I was excited and eager to see it.  But did I really believe it?

Answer is YES and NO.  I believe that there will be changes.  Note: “changes”.  There would be things that would take place, but not wipe out man.

2012 is just around the corner.  Ever since I was young, there have been lots of prophecies about the “end of the world”.  I remember my family always eager to watch Nostradamus’ predictions.  I was the eldest, but I tell you I don’t remember any of it.  Maybe its by poor memory, or is it because my guides were protecting me from believing something wrong?

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If my thoughts can be contained here..

If my thoughts can be contained here, I would say everything. I would share everything. I would spill my emotions.

What can I say? What can I do? I feel like I want to escape. Live alone and let the world be.

I don’t want to be depressed. I want to be alive, I want to be me. I want to be free. The world has put blocks on me. On me, and in me. I can’t find that I am really at peace with myself and the rest of the world.

No, this is not a suicide note. more…