The lessons we can’t deny

I’ve been through many ups and downs.  But I can say I’ve never been to so much pain and crying in my life as I have experienced in the last six months of my life.  I don’t ever want to go back and reminisce any of them anymore.  With all these things, its still undeniable that things happen for a reason.  If there is just one thing I could ever believe in, there are things in life that we do not choose for ourselves, but they do happen nonetheless, and somehow, even if you run away from them, they have a way of finding themselves back to you until you take it.   more…

Finding wonderland

I wake up in the middle of nowhere.  I feel the first gasp of air reach my lungs.  My eyes are wide open and I gather my senses.  My gaze reaches up the sky.  I see a portion of it.  The rest are covered with the grand pose of tall majestic old trees.  It could be around 10 in the morning.  The sun does not reach me at all, yet its not dark.  I feel the thick heavy heap of autumn-colored leaves cushioning my back.  I make an assessment of my current situation.  Am I hurt?  Am I even alive?

I struggle to sit myself.  I make a slow progress of it.  My body seems badly beaten.  I touch my face.  My body is covered in sweat.  Where have I been?  What have I done?  Am I even still myself?  Now that I’m seated, I bend my body to take a quick glance of my surrounding.  Its an awfully quiet place.  I’m in the middle of the forest.  Why?  How did I get here?

I look down and see myself wearing a slick pair of dark blue jeans.  I’m wearing a brown ladies’ leather jacket.  My hair is curly.  I look at my hands and they were white.  I wish I had a mirror.  I touch my face.  Its cold and sweaty.  Sweat was pouring from my head like I’ve been rained down.. and yet the whole place is dry.  In fact, it was even windy.  How ever did I get here? more…

Which is the real reality?

Avatar

Avatar

In 2154, man was depicted to be suffering from energy crisis on Earth. With man’s extreme need for survival, we turn to a different world that could possibly save us. But salvation in a different manner.

The Avatar research was successful in locating Pandora, a moon of the planet of Polyphemus, some 4.3 light years from Earth. Pandora held massive amounts of lush greens and a very important discovery of the mineral called Unobtanium which, for man was the solution to the energy crisis. Finding the rock was the key, but getting it was not the solution. The Na’vis were the natives of Pandora and they were the link to a missing future.

Jake Sully, had a brother Tom who was a scientist who held a PhD in the Avatar research. Each man had to be linked to a specific hybrid of human and Na’vi genome. Each avatar is very expensive and can only be linked to a specific nervous system. When Tom died, Jake was the next best bet for a possible link to Tom’s avatar. He took on the task, hoping that he could get a fresh start with a new life as soon as the mission was completed. He looked forward to a life with legs, being a paraplegic ex-marine.

His mission was to learn the ways of the Na’vi and hopefully to convince them to relocate in time for the taking over of their troops to extract all possible amounts of the Unobtanium. He was supposed to succeed where the scientists failed. Given that he was the first warrior ever to use an Avatar, the natives gave him favor of learning their ways, aside from the fact that he seemed to be favored by their spirit god Eywa.

He learns their ways and fell in love with the nature and Neytiri. Soon, Jake found himself going against the inhumane ways of acquiring Unobtanium through destruction of the nature of Pandora. As he became one of the Omaticaya (people of Pandora), he vows to help the natives and defend their land. War breaks out and he unites the different clans to save their nature.

Pandora

Pandora

more…

My Xmas confessions

Christmas is not very much my favorite season.  Its the coldest though even without rains, that’s one main reason why I like it.  They say its the season made for kids and those young at heart.  I say its not made for me.

My birthday falls within this holiday season, yet I never felt like merry making.  I don’t really like people greeting me on my birthday, but I appreciate them nonetheless.  I guess its just a preference.  I don’t want to speculate for the reasons why I am this way but for the sake of argument and thought sharing, I’d love to spill some things out. more…

Can collective consciousness make a big difference?

2012 for me is..

As the trailer of 2012 pops into the big screen sometime last year, I wonder what the movie effects would bring me cheap thrill.  I wonder what portrayals for the “end of days” would be shown.  I was excited and eager to see it.  But did I really believe it?

Answer is YES and NO.  I believe that there will be changes.  Note: “changes”.  There would be things that would take place, but not wipe out man.

2012 is just around the corner.  Ever since I was young, there have been lots of prophecies about the “end of the world”.  I remember my family always eager to watch Nostradamus’ predictions.  I was the eldest, but I tell you I don’t remember any of it.  Maybe its by poor memory, or is it because my guides were protecting me from believing something wrong?

more…

If my thoughts can be contained here..

If my thoughts can be contained here, I would say everything. I would share everything. I would spill my emotions.

What can I say? What can I do? I feel like I want to escape. Live alone and let the world be.

I don’t want to be depressed. I want to be alive, I want to be me. I want to be free. The world has put blocks on me. On me, and in me. I can’t find that I am really at peace with myself and the rest of the world.

No, this is not a suicide note. more…

I’m..

Im confused. Am I not?

I'm confused. Am I not?

Happy yesterday.  Enlightened two days ago.  Scared three days ago.  I woke up still feeling sleepy from last weeks’ work.  I was detached this morning.  And now I’m crying.

I’m confused.  I don’t want to think.  I don’t want to feel.  I’m lost again.  Am I?

How do I survive without you?

I wonder how i will survive without you. My everyday is you. My heart and my happiness is you.

more…

A picture of many virtues

A picture of many virtues

A picture of many virtues

Although I feel like this at this time of my life, I can say that I can still see the positivity in this picture.

This photo says a lot.

- The ant is a very small insect carrying four green sumptous apples

- The ant is very industrious

- The ant is anticipating the better future.  “Hirap muna bago sarap” (Work now, rest later)

- The apples are heavy but they are worthy investments of the future

- Only one apple has a leaf.  It symbolizes the apex, the best.

- It looks like almost crumbling down, but it doesn’t.  It holds off because it can, no matter how hard it is.

- The apples are green, because its a sign of hope.

Need I say more? :)

Dreaming again

I was with my honey.  We went to some building were there was supposed to be a telephone operator needed at one area.  This operator, I believe was to talk to those who were going to the building for parking or something relating to drive thru orders.  But there was no one there.  Instinctively, I took the slot.  The phone suddenly rang and I picked it up.  There was a lady at the end of the line.  She was giving a sermon about reporting to work promptly, etc.  She then bothered to ask who I was.  I told her I’m a new member of “Now” and that JP recommended me there.  I said we just arrived and found that no one was in that slot.

A few minutes later in that barren room corner.. (the room was made of wood and its two sides were open at that time).  JP was sitting in the open side of the room, while I was holding the phone at the far right corner.  There were four telephones in that room.  2 or 3 of them were wired phones, while the other one was handsfree.  Two guys came in and wanted to use the phonelines.  I gave way, and assisted them in using the phone.  I distinctly remember hearing the dial tone several times. more…